OK, I know this is a hard topic and most people on here probably won't want to share as I know us HSPs tend to keep our cards close to our hearts.

But, I feel safe with you so I need to get this off my chest.

I (and my husband, who is marginally HSP) tend to drink too much. Usually 2x a week we "binge" and it is an issue ... for my health and well being, and our relationship. Other than those 2x I don't drink, and we only drink white wine, but also smoke cigarettes ... I never smoke except these times.

Before I met my husband (20 years ago) I drank a lot and there was 1 year where I smoked weed every day. Plus I sampled many other drugs ....

I started drinking at 14 years of age when I realized AL made me feel "normal". It was the only way to get through anything ...

I know I should go to AA meetings but as an HSP it makes my skin shrink, and my Psychiatrist doesn't think I'm ready ...

I just KNOW I'm not the only one on here who has had these experiences. And I'm putting myself out here ... don't leave me hangin! Please people step up.

I love you all.

Cheers,
Lisa

PS: I used to participate a lot on another forum called "My Way Out" but none of those people were HSPs and didn't get me ... talk about thread killing!

I am the opposite, maybe? Many years ago I realised even one glass of alcohol made me feel ill, sick, tired. So after the teenage/ 20s years of 'go on, have a proper drink, one more won't hurt you' etc. from my 'friends', I just gave it up completely. I never drink, simply cos I don't like alcohol. It did take years to convince other people, but stuff 'em, its my body.

Thats true for me with everything tho. Everything I 'consume' affects me more than others e.g. sugar, cigarettes, the pill, female hormones affect me seriously. I have to live a 'pure' life or I just collapse and get very ill.

I often used to wish I could go into the oblivion of drink and drugs but fortunately I never fell into it

My father was definitely HSP. also an off-the wall high IQ. Unfortunately, he also had mental problems. He drank to medicate himself, to tune down the incredible high-intensity of his being. For him, it worked, he relaxed, he socilaized, but in time, it also made him sicker. A high-functioning alcoholic with a personality disorder got lower and lower-functioning, until his heart and lungs just decided to give out on him.

I am more like Katerina, I like alcohol, but it excites my already excitable nature, and there are some food allergy issues, so I try to avoid it as much as possible, and it doesn't seem to be much of an issue.

Oh yeas, that song is very apt.

The Byrds' Turn Turn Turn. Like half of those lyrics were taken from the Bible I'm told. Either way, it's a kick a$$ song.


I've tried alcohol a few times in my life, always under familial pressure (dumba$$ cousins and out-of-town uncles) and I'm always winding up with the same result: not my cup of tea.
It doesn't make me superior, as I have plenty of other vices that aren't good for me.

yeah i don't drink. one glass of wine makes me feel dizzy and sick. i usually just end up feeling really dizzy. maybe i would like getting drunk but ive never drunk enough to get to that point and dont want to, so i usually just end up with dizziness and sleepiness. i had some drinks during college of course, but my roomies were all conservative/dorky/good girls like me and wed only enjoy the excitement of a little naughtiness of a black russian or something.. which are tasty, but i guess ive never had an interest.
that said, i think the one thing your situation reminds me of is a little habit me and my mom had of going to the casino to play slot machines like every week for a month or so. it reminds me of your situation because it involves a relationship. does it have anything to do with your relationship with your husband?? because you are both doing it together...thats what struck me..going to the casino with my mom is one of the funnest things i can do with her, even though it often also involves feelings of guilt for both of us and of course losing money.

If you think AA may help, try it out.... or there are surely many other groups that may help? My mother was abusing alcohol and went through an out-patient treatment program at the hospital - she'd go in several times a week for counseling, therapeutic activities, classes on how alcohol and drugs affect the body, etc. Not having personally experienced AA before, but based on what my fiancee has told me (his mom and stepdad were both alcoholics and heavy into AA), the program my mom went through had a different approach than AA. It worked for her. See if there are other support groups in your area, maybe go lurk at a meeting and see if the group resonates with you?

As for me.... I've definitely had my share of partying and drinking. Looking back, I even went through a period where I was abusing alcohol/drugs.... I eventually gave it all up, back then I think mostly for health reasons. Nowadays, I will not drink when I'm out, for one it's too expensive and also I've had some fainting episodes (I think brought on more by being overheated and too many people around, and the room just starts to close in on me and I faint). I still drink wine (red please) but as I get older, I must get more sensitive to it... can't drink the cheap stuff anymore, and I find it affects me more, especially my sleep. I will barely take over the counter medicine, much less prescribed drugs (except for my migraines). I don't like the way most medicines make me feel. Also as I try to eat more healthfully, I notice even more sensitivity to medicines.

I hope my sharing has helped somehow and I hope you can figure out what you need to do next.... I'm glad you feel so comfortable sharing with us, too! We are here for you!
~Mal

In fact I prefer something like lemonade, cos the sugar makes me really giggly and silly. As long as I have a good meal soon after, or I go depressed.

I have had times in my life like the one you describe. I have never smoked, but drinking, yes, and I too had rules about drinking, what days were acceptable, never during the day, only at night, never a drink if I am home alone with the kids and H is on a business trip, never the night before work, never to the point of losing control over myself, and so on.

I was never taught how to healthily handle negative emotions or situations. As a kid I learned early on that the best way to avoid conflict was to try to be what others wanted, and when that failed to hide for a while and let it blow over, they would either forget or miss me (the me that tried to be what others wanted) and then I could come out of hiding again. It is easy to hide when you are a kid, no responsibilities really, but as an adult I cannot use the same strategy, too many responsibilities.

For me, it really was not the alcohol that I wanted, it was a means of escape. My MO in life is to escape, when things get tough I get going, I keep busy, I move, I get a new job, I make myself small, I stop communicating, I pull back, and so on. Sometimes in my life, I have not been able to do those coping things, I have been "trapped" and the only escape was to drink, but really that was not true, just an illusion, as all of my other coping ways are illusions.

For me, facing things, rolling up my pants and walking into the muck of life instead of floating on a wine bottle through the muck, is helping me. It has taken a long time to get here, for many years I drank with no awareness that I drank so much, it just seemed so "normal" but looking back now, I see the pain I was in, the "caged" feelings, the hopelessness, and it makes sense.

Right now I am knee deep in muck, really thick, icky muck, and I am really happy to say that I do not want to drink, have plenty of opportunity to drink, no one would think ill of me if I drank, I just do not want to. I see that as progress. I still do want to escape from the muck at times, but those times are manageble right now, I hope that I can keep it that way. Perhaps I am going through a proving time right now.

I wish you well as you walk your path through this area, congrats on all the awareness you have on this subject.

Grace

Yes, I used to have that MO too, always on the move, mainly going to new jobs again and again. Probably why the last 5 years have been so hard having to keep still and be mummy very, very trapping and constricting and I've wanted to be free.